Sunday, September 16, 2007

An hour in the life of a UAE sales assistant (abridged)

[Five minutes after the end of our shift, my housemate and co-worker Miss N and myself are waiting for our lift home, and walk into our shoe department. Big mistake.]

Customer: "I bought these shoes for my son. They don't suit him, they're too bright. I want my money back."
Miss N: "I'm sorry, we can't give cash refunds on shoes [or anything]. As long as they're not damaged we can give you a credit note or an exchange."
Customer: "I don't want a credit note and I don't like your other shoes. I want my money back."
Miss N: "We can't give you your money back. Well, we can, but then I lose my job."
Customer: "That's not fair, you're holding my money for me, I took the shoes, and they're too bright for him."
Me: "Too bright?"
Customer: "I mean wide. Or narrow. Anyway, I want my money back."
Miss N: "We can't give your money back, but we can give you a credit note."
Child: "Mummy, are we going to get the other shoes I saw at school?"
Customer: [to child] "Quiet, you"
Customer: [to us] "Why would I want a credit note? I've bought all I'll ever need. I'm a loyal customer. You're holding my money for me and now I want it back."
[Repeat for a further 30 minutes or so. In the background, another customer is berating staff for being too helpful and tidy]
Miss N: "Oh good God, I'm so very bored of this, let me check with our accounts department."
[Phones head office]
Miss N: "I've got a customer who wants a cash refund. Her son wasn't measured for his shoes and doesn't like them. She says she's a loyal customer but won't take a credit note."
The Boss: "I'll check with accounts tomorrow, but no."
[Information is relayed to customer. Customer flounces out, pointedly leaving shoes behind. Mr Aedan and Miss N go home 50 minutes late.]

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