Customer-salesperson confidentiality

Today, I thought I had actually dealt with an almost-normal member of the public, for whom I was ordering an expensive specialist business book of some kind from the UK. This process, from order to delivery at the shop, via air-freight and the censor board (of course), takes about two weeks. When people don't like this, they normally say "Amazon can get it to me quicker" (sometimes true, although Amazon packages are generally quite thoroughly searched by the thought police, which adds to the advertised time), or just "Oh really? Well forget it then" (though not as many as one might think, given the number of Goliath Books customers who don't even want to wait two days in the UK). However, this charming man simply enquired:
"Can you give me the details of anyone else who has ordered this book, so I can check if they're one of my colleagues?"
Eep.

Niche Market

"Do you have any Dilbert SAT practice papers?"

Cunning Experiments.

Stood behind the patented Goliath Books^TM information desk, shovelling crap from a trolley, I heard the bell, not two feet from me, rung with some force. Spinning around to see my new nemesis, I was presented with a middle-aged woman, who upon seeing my glaring face, declared:

"I'm sorry, I didn't think it would ring so soon."

Sometimes, talking to people makes me very sad.

My Own Worst Enemy.

This is an old classic that happened to a colleague of mine. He was stood behind one of the patented Goliath Books information desks, when a customer spotted a huge pile of the book she wanted. She strode over, picked on up, turned to him and said:

"Excuse me, where do I find a copy of this?"

I know what I like...

The first customer I served today gestured enthusiastically towards our gardening section and asked:

"Are these the only art books you have?"

*Sigh*.

"Do you sell paperbacks?"

The Motherlode.

Overheard by a colleague:

"Is fiction the one where it's real or made up?"

How many angels can dance on a pinhead?

"I'm very surprised you don't have any books by Doreen Virtue... she has a PhD you know."

Fit To Burn.

"Do you have the news on CD-ROM?"

"Todays news?"

"Yes. I need to listen to it."

"No, you can't get the news on CD-ROM. Why don't you read a paper, or read it online?"

"I really want to listen to it."

"You can listen to it online, in Realplayer."

"I don't have an internet connection. That's why I wanted to buy a disc with it all on."

By this point, I was so despairing, I couldn't even explain to him the concept of 'radio'.