Saturday, February 16, 2008

A Call To Arms.

We are at an impasse. The Horde have brought joy to many several, but we three no longer encounter them on a day-to-day basis, and can no longer report on their fertile leavings. In short, we need a new generation of retail anthropologists to, for all intents and purposes, spy on random strangers and kick them while they're down.

Applicants should possess:
  • A burning hatred for all mankind, borne forth like a torrent from their black, barren hearts.

  • A genuine belief in their own superiority, despite working as low-level retail drones for longer than can reasonably be considered an extended adolescence.

  • Access to firearms. It can get messy out there. A few claymores would not go amiss.

  • Excellent grammar and spelling.

This fabulous offer is open to anyone in retail who can spin a good yarn, has an eye or ear for the absurd, and who thrives on the humiliation of people whose only crime was to be slightly daft.

4 comments:

Mister Aedan said...

I did manage to find The Book over Christmas, so we'll be kept in repeats for a while. I'd have posted something already, but I haven't unpacked fully despite being back for a month.

Dave said...

I was just wondering about the book. Excellent. Some fine material there, if I recall.

Lucy said...

This is almost well-worded enough to make me want to go out and get a job selling things.

Almost.

You're not quite that good yet, Convery.

Dave said...

Lord, I never intended that. You've done your time.