A Call To Arms.

We are at an impasse. The Horde have brought joy to many several, but we three no longer encounter them on a day-to-day basis, and can no longer report on their fertile leavings. In short, we need a new generation of retail anthropologists to, for all intents and purposes, spy on random strangers and kick them while they're down.

Applicants should possess:

• A burning hatred for all mankind, borne forth like a torrent from their black, barren hearts.


• A genuine belief in their own superiority, despite working as low-level retail drones for longer than can reasonably be considered an extended adolescence.


• Access to firearms. It can get messy out there. A few claymores would not go amiss.


• Excellent grammar and spelling.

This fabulous offer is open to anyone in retail who can spin a good yarn, has an eye or ear for the absurd, and who thrives on the humiliation of people whose only crime was to be slightly daft.