What?

"You're just a computer terminal, aren't you?"

Late Night Tales

This happened to a colleague of mine a few years ago. working on a late night shift, he got into a conversation with one of the many people that hang around bookshops at night simply because they have nothing better to do. After a while talking to my colleague, the (it should be said, reasonably elderly) customer looked slightly panicked for a moment, before uttering the immortal:

"Oh dear, I seem to have crapped myself. Oh well, some people like to wipe. I like to chat."

He continued to talk amiably to my increasingly concerned colleague, until excuses that weren't "I'm sorry sir, you don't smell quite right." could be made, and they went they're seperate ways.

No Kidding.

"I'm just calling to let you know you're going to want to remove all your copies of the Daily Telegraph Bumper Beach Fun Wordgame Book. All the clues are wrong."

"Sorry, wrong how exactly?"

"They don't match the answers I'm coming up with."